Paid to Be Here · Retail humour
Illustrated Retail Humour for Anyone Who Has Worked in Customer Service
Customers who can’t read the sign. Customers who know the owner. Customers who need you to explain why Friday isn’t your weekend.
See 100 familiar customer types through Ben and Sarah’s eyes, from the thoughts they keep to themselves to the polite replies they somehow manage instead.
Coming soon · Illustrated paperback
Release date to be announced.
You know the customer. You know the feeling.
Or replenished a shelf. Or wondered whether customer service includes holding someone’s dog.
A little recognition for shop assistants, cashiers and anyone who serves the public. Open anywhere during a break, after a long shift, or whenever your professional smile could use some company.
A knowing gift for a colleague, a birthday or the staff Secret Santa. Some customers test your patience. Some are a delight, which makes resenting their carefree morning even harder to justify.
From the book
Two short illustrated excerpts. The full book has 100 customer types to smile through.
Ben’s shift
“Do you work here?”
What I’m thinking · excerptNo. I bought the uniform because I liked the colour.
Had to get the job first. They’re quite awkward about selling them separately.
I stack shelves recreationally. Some people do Pilates; I rotate tinned peaches.
What I actually say“Yes, how can I help?”
Sarah’s shift
“I’d like to speak to the manager.”
What I’m thinking · excerptGood news. Your journey is complete.
I can take a little walk and come back if you need a sense of escalation. Perhaps put on a cardigan.
The answer will still be no, but you’ll have met me twice.
What I actually say“I am the manager. I can explain the options available.”
The people keeping it polite
Dark polo. BEN badge. Very visible employment clues. Ben’s working day involves shelves, tills and an impressive effort to keep his private thoughts private.
Grey-streaked hair, rectangular glasses and the three-leaf manager emblem. Ask to see the manager and Sarah can usually spare you the wait.
Before your next shift
The release date is still to be announced. Follow the release news below; this page will show the Amazon purchase links when the paperback is available.
No. Each Paid to Be Here book stands on its own. Customer Stereotypes is the first planned release.
It’s an illustrated humour book: familiar encounters, sarcastic private thoughts and the polite replies that keep the shift moving.
Adults who have worked in retail or customer service, and the people buying them a small, knowing gift.
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Briefly Absent Books